Let Go and Let Grow

We are all too soon transitioning from winter into spring here in California.  With just enough water to soften the earth and enough sunshine to warm her, the flowers are bursting forth and new growth appears around every turn.  The blooms don't seem to be as concerned with the lack of water we have received as are the rest of us.  They understand that theirs is not to control the changing seasons.  They are simply doing what they were created to do given the situation...grow!

As I contemplate the circumstances that surround my life these days; a soon to be graduating senior in high school, a soon to be entering kindergarten-youngest, pushing through the glorious hormonal instabilities of the fabulous forties, add to that the pressures of work,  and the demands of life in general, I am tempted to become anxious.   I am tempted to curl up and remain in the protection of what is familiar and known.  I must not forget, however,  that with the "pushing through" comes the unveiling of the miracles.   I must not be afraid to submit to the circumstances that surround my life, for out of them will come unexpected beauty.  Growth!

What circumstances currently surround you that you are fighting for control over?  Might I encourage you to let go and let GROW?  There will be enough warmth and light and love to carry you into the next season.  Trust the process and you will be amazed at what unfolds before you.

On Sunsets

As things go in the evening when you have a four year old, there's dinner and bath, story time, a song, kisses and hugs, prayers, more kisses and hugs, and then...wait, don't forget a cup of water...now, aaaaah, blessed sleep.  We got as far as bath tonight and as she played and sang to her dollies in the bubbles, I happened to catch a glimpse through the window of the glorious sunset that had begun to burn brightly in the distance.  Through tall pines, I could see brilliant reds, oranges, hues of purple and magenta settling on the horizon.  I was overwhelmed.  I got excited, like a little child, and I ran into the bathroom exclaiming to my girl that we were going on an adventure.  I raced to get her out of the water, dried her as quick as I could, threw on her jams, scooped her up and out the door we flew to witness this incredible moment up at the top of the ridge -the Bee Farm, as it's called.  I drove whilst little girl cheered with excitement when around various corners she would catch a glimpse of the magic happening in the western sky.  "Oooooh, look at it Mommy.  We're almost there!"
Only a few minutes later and we were perched at the top of the canyon overlooking the most glorious sunset I have witnessed in months, maybe years, and the realization that - ETERNITY IS WAITING IN EVERY MOMENT - gripped my soul and ignited such a joy in me that all I could do was laugh.  This sunset was perfectly and completely burning bright in all of it's authenticity, and I am called to do the same!!!  That is all!

Just Peachy! [Chicken with Grilled Peach and Chipotle Salsa]

It has certainly been a while since I posted a recipe on this abandoned blog of mine.  I was inspired the other night to recreate a recipe I used to make regularly for my crew throughout the summer.  It is a clean and delicious little number that deserves a rebirth...especially since I actually found some gorgeous organic peaches at the market (a little early for these beauties, but I guess heat is good for some things:).  Without further adieu...

Ingredients (organic please;) :

5 ripe peaches
Salt and Pepper to taste
1-2 tsp Art of Chipotle Paste (not organic)
2 Green Onions, thinly sliced
1/4 Bunch Cilantro, chopped
4, Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts
1 Tbs. Olive Oil
1/2 Tsp Ground Cumin

Method

Season peaches with salt and pepper and grill them over medium heat until just blackened.  I cook them for about 8 minutes total, turning once.  Transfer to a bowl and set aside to cool (because you will be roughly chopping them for the salsa.)

Toss chicken with the oil, cumin, salt and pepper and transfer to grill.  Cook approximately 10 minutes, flipping once and transfer to a platter.

Back to the salsa...toss chopped peaches with green onions, cilantro, 1-2 tsp chipotle paste, salt and pepper (go light on the pepper, as the chipotle paste has it's own kick.)  Serve with love.

*I typically dish this up with a nice, crisp romaine salad and a side of roasted fingerling potatoes.

Much love to everyone.  May is the month of marvels...from incredible spring weather to watching gardens bloom and grow, may you be surrounded by miracles.

GiGi

Points of Grace in 2013

I love the New Year!  It brings with it all of the possibility of renewed vision, renewed hope, and renewed dreams!  I can look back on the latter days of 2013 and see how God weaved His faithfulness in and out of circumstances and situations and always, always provided...and I can look forward to a million more points of Grace (thank you for that reference Karen Wright) painted with perfect intention across the days that follow.

"I will sing of the mercy and loving-kindness

of the Lord forever;

with my mouth I will make known

your faithfulness from generation

to generation."

-Psalm 89

One of my favorite things to do after Christmas is settle down with my tea and pour through pictures of the past year...all of the memories an iPhone can hold; moments of joy, of pain and healing, celebration, victory, play and rest.  They are all there, these beautiful moments written into my story, proof of His mercy and loving-kindness strewn across my camera roll.  2013 was a good year, a really good year!  I am thankful for all of the opportunities for growth...there were many.  I am thankful for all of the opportunities I had to lean harder on His promises, because they became opportunities to tell someone that He is enough, and they affirmed God's love for me in ways that I could have never dreamed of...so personal and intimate.  I am learning that there are a million-plus ways to hear and know the Father, and that He can and will use anything (but usually the unexpected) to reveal His heart to us.  

I'm excited about 2014.  I feel like I'm moving forward into a new place of trust (Ruthless Trust -B. Manning) which means a whole lot of freedom and release.  Woot!  Woot!  I know that God will provide all of my needs in 2014, according to His riches in Glory.  Are you hearing me people?  He loves to bless us with the earthly needs...but even more than this, He is wanton for us to be receptive to the AWESOME blessings of His riches in Glory.  His kingdom is soooooo vast, I can't even wrap my mind around what those riches might be.  I've tasted of them this past year, most certainly...and they are so fulfilling and so perfectly delicious in every sense of the word.  He longs for us to know how absolutely LOVED we are.  

Lord, as the New Year unfolds before me, I long for you to know that, though my love for You is so fickle and imperfect in so many ways...it is Your beautiful love for me that continues to woo me and draw me to your side.  You continue to renew me with hope, and no matter what 2014 holds for me and my family, I know that there is one thing that will always remain...Your Love -which is the biggest and 'bestest' ;) thing in the whole-wide world!  I love you!  -G

Happy New Year!!!

"Enough" Ramblings

It's everywhere - the collective consience, "Be Inspired!"  "Dare to Dream!"  "You are Enough!"  "The Choice is Yours!"  "The Light is Within You!"  I've been known to instagram such garble time and again.  I'm just wondering though...is it working?  I mean, is it working for you?  Cause I'm trying people!  I'm REALLY, REALLY  TRYING here, but I keep coming up short.  I know - How dare I express such cynicism over words that enlighten, deepen and move us into inner acceptance and challenge us to "Be the Change!"  There must be something wrong with me!  I must have some real deep-seated emotional issues that stem from childhood, keeping me from being able to live in this state of harmony, self-acceptance and awareness.  Listen, I've tried to convince myself that I'm "ENOUGH", but at the end of the day, after I've yelled at my kids, yelled at the dog, after I've been knocked down by my own expectations I have for myself, after life happens...I feel anything but "ENOUGH!"  I'm too tired to be "inspired"!  Oh, and don' get me wrong...I DREAM...I dream about the moment I will lift my feet from the floor and fall into a state of absolute bliss because I made it through another crazy-paced day in this crazy-paced world.  Are you with me?

Here is the TRUTH!  The truth is...I used to not worry about these things - being ENOUGH, being INSPIRED.  I had DREAMS - lots of them!  Some of those dreams, when I look over the landscape of my life, God has so graciously fulfilled!  Other dreams have yet to be realized. I HAVEN'T STOPPED DREAMING, but when did I forget that MY DREAMS are actually HIS DREAMS and that He really does "MAKE ALL THINGS BEAUTIFUL IN HIS TIME", and that He dreams over me in colors and visions that are totally unique to the individual He created me to be...for His Glory.

The truth is...I am living the dream!  It's right here in front of my eyes -  Little Bella Grace sitting beside me singing as she paints colors on a canvas of princess-dreams.  "Who is your favorite princess," asked the lady behind the counter a couple of days ago. Bella's response with the biggest smile ever, "ME!!!!" And her God shall provide ALL of her needs according to His riches in GLORY!  I don't ever want her to worry about being enough because Jesus took care of that.  I don't ever want her to fear that she isn't "doing enough" to make her life count so long as she is looking towards the cross daily.  I do want her to DREAM...BIG!  I just don't want her to be so consumed with the task of fulfilling her dreams, that she forgets who the author of those dreams is, and that she can rest in the knowledge that He is the DREAM-MAKER, DREAM-GIVER and DREAM-KEEPER!!!

The truth is...I USED TO NOT WORRY ABOUT BEING ENOUGH, BECAUSE I KNEW WITHOUT A DOUBT, THAT GOD WAS ENOUGH...He had a plan for my life (the same thing I tell my kids almost daily) and He would faithfully lead me on to the next step in the process.  He did...from college, to a teaching career, to marriage, to motherhood...weaving His promises throughout.  He would prove to be enough for me each and every day that I lived and breathed.  Here is the most beautiful part of all...HE IS ENOUGH EVEN WHEN I AM NOT!!!  HE IS MY "ENOUGH!"  When did I forget all of this?  When did I allow social media and the noise of the world to convince me that I actually have to BE ENOUGH?  

Doesn't this totally shift your focus?  Can you feel the weight being lifted?

When did I forget that HE PROMISES TO INSPIRE ME DAILY...and He does - He totally surprises me and catches me off-guard...a song, a story, a life, a vision, a sunset!  When did I forget that I actually DON'T have to worry about being inspired, or being an inspiration for that matter.  He will open doors, provide opportunities and use me in ways that I could have never dared dream or imagine, as well as provide all of the inspiration I could ever ask for to walk the road He has prepared for me.

I guess, if I could say something that might count for anything, it would be...do what He puts before you TODAY!  Jesus lived a life consumed with his love for the Father, never worrying about being an "inspiration" to the world...the world hated Him peeps.  He was living, and in essence dying, THE DREAM -the Father's dream...that the world would be reconciled to Himself.  Don't focus on yourself today...GOD is ENOUGH for you and He always has been.  Let Him lead you into His Promises daily.  Know that He is not looking at all of your mistakes, failings, shortcomings.  He knows we are made of clay.  He IS looking at all of the GRACE that covers your life because Jesus was ENOUGH...and HE LOVES WHAT HE SEES!

I think I've said ENOUGH!!! :)

Gifts from the Sea -or- Seek and FIND

"I would like to achieve a state of inner spiritual grace from which I could function and give as I was meant to in the eye of God...
Vague as this definition may be, I believe most people are aware of periods of in their lives where they seem to be "in grace" and other periods where they feel "out of grace," even though they may use different words to describe these states.  In the first happy condition, one seems to carry all one's tasks before one lightly, as if borne along a great tide; and in the opposite state one can hardly tie a shoe-string.  It is true that a large part of life consists in learning a technique of tying the shoe-string, whether one is in grace or not.  But there are techniques of living too; there are even techniques in the search for grace.  And techniques can be cultivated.  I have learned by some experience, by many examples, and by the writing of countless others, also occupied in the search, that certain environments, certain modes of life, certain rules of conduct are more conducive to inner and outer harmony than others.  There are, in fact, certain roads that one may follow.  Simplification of life is one of them."
-Excerpt from "Gift from the Sea" by Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I  too, would like to achieve a state of inner spiritual grace.  And I am finding along this journey, as did Anne, that there are many pieces to this puzzle.  There is simplification, for certain.  There is also a "letting go."  There is acceptance.  There is the growing in wisdom. There is fierce determination.  There is rest. As I've been slowly absorbing the beautiful wisdom in this treasure of a book, I've been gazing inward and outward. I first see the obvious, the shape of my life, what is right there in front of my face...kids, husband, friends, daily tasks of life and work, the comings and goings of a working mother.  The tides of life.  Much grace to be sought here.  These 'pieces' could easily turn into chaos, and truthfully, some days they do and I feel like I can barely reach the shoe-string, let alone tie it.  I might find myself tumbling wildly under the surf.

Then I look deeper...family dynamics, relationships, my presence and the way I affect all that is life and work and play, my inner spiritual life.  Here, the grace is deeper.  Here, where I have conversations... with myself and with God.  Here where there is internal awareness of the sacred, the holy, the unspoken truths that glisten like the sand...where He reveals His heart to His beloved daughter.  Sometimes GRACE is loud and crashing down like the surge of the tide, and sometimes it is more predictable and quiet...but always consistent, never ceasing, the ebb and flow.  The joy comes when the tide leaves it's gifts/treasures on the shore...and this is the blessing of "Gift from the Sea".  The gifts of GRACE, scattered along the shores of life, to be handled and examined with all of their mystery and wonder and unfathomable beauty.  We are ALL blessed with these gifts.  The challenge some days is to take much needed time to walk the shore and seek...and FIND!!!!

R E F L E C T I O N S

I had a dream last night... and on my run this morning, I believe God was speaking to me about it, so I just want to post my thoughts here so that I can come back to them when I have moments to ponder. A little background first. If you have followed this thing (my journey) for the past five plus years, you know that I go through these seasons of...I'll call it...wandering, and we all have seasons in our lives where life is just GOOD, everything is clicking, "the stars are aligned" if you will.  They are seasons of prosperity - prosperity of the heart and mind, spirit and soul.  We are grateful for these seasons, no?  They are the places we draw strength from and hope.

However, sometimes life seems scattered and it's so easy to forget who we are.  I don't know about you, but when I forget who I am (and I'll explain this as I move further into this post), I start to slip into old patterns of thinking.  It's like a dripping faucet, that when left undiscovered, can cause some pretty significant water damage (or at least a water stain).  I know when I'm starting to slip into this place because all of those old lies I used to tell myself slowly make their way back in, and I find myself scrambling to create some sense of self-worth and significance.  If that faucet is left to leak for too long without an intervention...yikes!  Take it from someone who knows!

Last night I went to bed crying out in my spirit for an intervention.

The dream - I was in a room with a group of women.  Some of them seemed to be familiar with one another, like they knew each other's stories, accepted each other and loved each other.  Others seemed to be new to this group of women and they sat feeling timid, shy, a bit skeptical, unsure of the sincerity of the women around them (haven't we all been there?)  I was one of those.  I was new to the group, but oddly, I felt a familiarity with a few of them.  We sat scattered, no particular formation, I mean...we weren't in a circle.  It wasn't like church, we weren't in rows.  We sat amongst each other.  At one point, it was announced that the "newbies" were going to receive their necklaces.  It was explained (or maybe I just somehow knew) that these necklaces were significant because they had something to do with our identity.  We were called out one at a time to go up and receive our necklace.  I felt like I already knew which one I was going to receive and for some reason I was excited because I knew that there would be some kind of healing and awareness when I finally put it on.

So, my name is called and I go up to get my necklace.  It was a brilliant platinum, or some kind of precious metal that I had never seen before.  There are these charms hanging off of it.  I look and I am sunk when I realize that one of them is a mirror and the other is a faceless girl...and when the girl is placed in front of the mirror...there is NO image reflected back.  Can you imagine?!!!  I start to panic and I look up to realize that everyone is staring at me!  The anxiety I feel is unmatched and I'm expecting judgement and harsh criticism from the onlookers...but when I gaze on them, all I can see is love and kindness and it's like they already know me and understand me.  I realize that some of them even have the same necklace.

I go back to my seat and at this point I am aware that those seated around me wear the one I received, but they are not moved by it.  They are not wallowing in despair.  They are not affected at all by their lot.  The women start to gather in little groups according to the necklace they wear.  This woman, who reminds me a bit of my mother, but I know it's not her starts to speak to me.  Here's what she says, "You forget who you are.  You forget that you are made in the image of your Creator.  You are not your own, and when you forget who you belong to, it's like you vanish.  Your authentic self disappears and you accept an image that cannot reflect who He has created you to be.  You cannot reflect His LOVE.  He wants you to know Him and seek Him, but more that that, He wants you to know that He KNOWS YOU and He LOVES His unique and perfect creation.  You are His unique and perfect creation.  Your necklace is the one you wear now, on this earth, because it is to be your reminder that if you are not finding yourself in Him, you cannot reflect His image.  This is VERY important to Him because of the plans and purposes He has for you.  When you leave this place and join the multitudes, you will receive a new necklace.  You don't have to think about that now."

At this, I fell into this lovely woman's arms and began to weep uncontrollably.  It felt SOOOOO healing and SOOOO good.  As I wept all over her :) she just held me like she knew.  She understood because she wore the same necklace.  But I wasn't to weep for long.  She lifted my chin and said, in so many words, but lovingly, "Get on with it now!"  Another words, it was like she was saying, "There is work to be done.  Now you have more understanding and He will gather to you those who need to be reminded who they are and who they belong to!"

I ran a gorgeous six miles today and the very first song that came divinely into my ears was, of course, "Remind Me Who I Am" -Jason Gray.  And I listen to it now as I type, and the tears are flowing because He has reminded me once again who I am to Him.  Oh lover of my soul.  "When my heart is like a stone and I'm running far from home, remind me who I am.  When I can't receive Your love, afraid I'll never be enough, remind me who I am!  If I'm Your Beloved, can You help me believe it?"

You have reminded me once again, My Jesus...I'm the one You LOVE!!!